I saw a YouTube video where an old lady talked about a quote she had found: “Let them.” It was essentially about letting others be as they are and focusing on living your own life.
Imaginary conversation
Every time I come across people who share similar values with me, I picture myself having a conversation with them.
So, I pictured myself talking to this lady, and she asked me why I haven’t been able to accept myself.
I started to think about it. It goes way back to when I wasn’t even a teenager.
Did they offend me or did I fail them?
Whenever I met older relatives, they would tell me that my mom had been really sad when she found out she was going to have another daughter because her mother-in-law had wanted a boy. They always said, “You should’ve been a boy,” with a sigh. Those words naturally made me think I was born by mistake—that I should’ve been someone else. Somehow, I felt I had failed to please most of the adults around me, including my mom and dad.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve been struggling with burnout and depression. In the meantime, I had an epiphany: I realized I should let go of the heavy thoughts weighing on my mind so I could start over. I began to forgive the people and words that had burdened me.
You are way more generous than you think
Through this process, I discovered that almost everything becomes understandable once you put your mind to it. Those adults said those things simply because it was the only thing they could talk about with me. They never meant to offend me. I know they loved me. They said it only because they didn’t have much else to say.
No one else but YOU can stop it
As I’ve gotten older, I realize I could’ve framed those memories differently. But instead, I kept playing the victim. I could’ve started to define myself in new ways whenever I wanted, but I never did. Instead, I got used to blaming others and my background. It has been no one but myself who drew this line and forced myself to stay stuck in it.
Now, I need to let go of these harmful thoughts I’ve been holding onto so I can move forward and start fresh.
Goodbye, vicious thoughts! It’s really time to let you go.
