Others vs. Family
As I get older, I realize that I have been toxic to my family from time to time. I used to think I was the smartest one around and I had every right to teach them what was right and wrong. I have been trying so hard to keep everything together in front of others, but that effort never extended to my family. I tried my best to be the nicest and kindest version of myself to others.
Funny part is, I’ve never put anyone else first other than my family, and yet, I never really tried to be nice to them. Simply put, I took them for granted.
I got beaten up by my own headache
I had a serious headache all day long yesterday, and around the time my sister came home, my pain had accumulated so much that it felt really hard to be patient and listen to her talking.
I knew how badly she had wanted to share everything with me since it’s the only time of the day we get to talk to each other. And that day in particular, she had a long day because of the train workers’ union strike.
Last night, I couldn’t help but show how awful my headache was while I was listening to her talking. And right after she finished, I said I had to go to sleep.
I woke up this morning and found out my headache was gone. And I started to feel sorry and bad about last night. I wish I had been nicer to her.
Reason I pursue myself
It got me thinking that I want to give the best version of myself to my loved ones all the time because they deserve it.
I might have been thinking that the fact that I’m sick very often could be an excuse for being bad to my family.
Now that I truly want to be next to my loved ones as the best version of myself, I need to exercise and eat healthy. I don’t want to let my body overtake my mental state and become someone who hurts the people I care about.
I’ve been thinking that exercising is only for my own health, but now I know that it’s also a way to take care of the people who care about me. Let’s be healthy!